Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
