Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
