This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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