I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
