omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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