she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
