Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
