no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
