You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize