i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
