Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
