OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You're earring is so big in my mouth
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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