I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
