This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
