So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize