There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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