yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
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