i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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