dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
not ubering you a puppy
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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