everyone is single if you try hard enough
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
