sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
