Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
