Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
