dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
