I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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