11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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