they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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