Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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