hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
