I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
