he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize