Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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