Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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