You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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