I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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