I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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