I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
