He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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