When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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