just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
