I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
