fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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