Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
