you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
