She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
