Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
