Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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