We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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