I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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