I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Randomize
