YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
