Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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