it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
