i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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