The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
