I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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