you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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