I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize