Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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