we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
