he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
