obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
