We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
