I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
