went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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