Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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