through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize